The Dirty Road Trip
by VitalRegionsSeizer
Summary: The BFT plus America go on a road trip around England looking for signs with dirty names. Note: All these street/town names are 100% real!
1. Chapter 1

The three nations were practically crying with laughter. To serious people (like Arthur), they were being really immature. But to be honest, Prussia, France, Spain and eventually America when he finally caught on, were close to rolling around on the ground laughing.

"W-Why would you keep this! Why didn't you change it!" Spain stuttered out between full on belly laughs.

"I don't see the problem. It's just a street sign"

"But it's called...HAHAHA~, it's called HAHAHA~" Prussia couldn't even finish his sentence. He just found the sign so hilarious.

"Yes I know. I know! **Bell End**! Now will you shut up!" The Brit sighed impatiently and unamused. Why were they so immature? Surely they have signs in their countries that sound...dirty.

"This is too funny!" Francis wiped a tear from his eye. "I wanna keep it."

"Yeah, it can be your new name tag!" The younger blonde snapped and walked off to where the meeting was going to be held in awhile.

"I'm not a bell end!" Francis called to him but Arthur just ignored it.

"Yes you are! Kesese~"  
>"STOP IT, I'M GONNA WET MYSELF!" The happy-go-lucky spaniard yelled out, holding his stomach.<p>

"You know. There's alot of signs like this around England." The Frenchman informed the other 3 as he started to calm down.

"How would you know?" America, who was also starting to calm down, asked.

"He's seen every inch of England! Kesese~" Prussia teased which only set Spain off again.

"And don't you forget it~ Ohonhonhon~" The trio laughed again, but America's mind was still slow in that department. "But seriously, we should go on a trip around England to see these signs!" Francis suggested. The albino and tomato-lover gasped.

"YES!" They both yelled.

"Then it's settled. We're going on a road trip. Right now! This meeting doesn't seem to important anyway." The blonde grinned at his own idea, with the other two of the trio still giggling at the dirty sign.

"Um..." The youngest made a small noise while thinking. "Can I come with you guys?" He asked looking away. The three looked at eachother. "It's just that, you guys seem to have such fun adventures, it'd be cool to go on one of them with you. So, can I~?" America finally looked at them hopefully.

"I dunno, it's usually just us three." Spain pointed out.

"Ja right, you're the one that always drags Romano along to most of them." Prussia whined child-like.

"Oh like you don't do that! 'Oh West, come with us, it'll be fun~'" The Spaniard taunted the albino.

"You know my West is great company!"

"He's a total buzzkill!"

"Like Romano isn't! 'FUCK YOU BASTARDO AND YOUR SHIT-BRAINED FRIENDS. YOU'RE ALL STUPID! BLAH BLAH BLAH!' 'Cause that's all we want to hear while at a fun fair!"

"Don't talk about my Lovi like that!" While the two were arguing, France took it upon himself to say 'yes' to the America (who was watching with amusement in his eyes).

"Of course you can, cher. Just sit inbetween these two would you?"

"YES! Thanks Francie!" America jumped up and down with joy.

"On one condition." Francis held his index finger up as if teaching a dog to sit up.

"What is it?"

"Don't call me Francie!"

**So yeah, BFT + America on a road trip around England. Should be fun XD**

**And yes, there is really a street called Bell End, I'm not making this up! There are loads of them and most of them will be included in this fic. Please tell me some other dirty street signs/town names from other countries, I would love to know some I am highly amused by them XD**

**Please review~3**


	2. Chapter 2: Getting Ready

It was half an hour after the agreement to France's plan when America was standing in the exact same place, alone. The other three had run off in seperate directions without saying a word. Maybe they left him behind. Maybe they just said 'yes' to rise his hopes then smashed them into millions of tiny pieces. But then again, that wasn't possible. For one, he was the HERO and nobody could leave his hero-ness behind, and two, they went in seperate directions. Suddenly, America's breath was caught in his throat for a split second as some extra weight was being put on his back.

"Hola~ I thought you would've gone to eat something." The extra weight seemed to have been Spain jumping on him.

"Um no, you guys didn't say where you were going so I thought I best stay put. I'm happy really, I thought you guys had left me." The American rubbed the back of his neck, grinning. He was quite embarrassed actually. He sounded like a new kid at school who was promised that he could eat lunch with the coolest group in school.

"Of course we didn't. When the Bad Friends Trio make a promise, we keep it! Well, I do anyway..." The last part didn't sound to promising.

"Er...yeah, so where did you go?"

"Well, I went to get money for hotels and food and stuff cause this trip is gonna take longer than a day. Plus, I went to call my little Romano where I was going, I didn't want him to worry you know?"

"How'd he react?"

"Well, let's just say that I'm deaf in one ear right now." Antonio let out a small giggle. How could he still be happy after getting an earfull from that hot headed Italian?

"Bonjour fellas~" The two talking nations turned to see France walking towards them. One hand waving and the other holding what looked like a map.

"I see you got it then~" The Spaniard waved back at Francis.

"But of course. It took abit of persuading, but after doing abit of _handy work_ I got it, ohonhonhon~"

"You sly dog, fusososo~"

_'These guys have weird laughs' _America thought to himself.

"So, is Gil hear yet?" The question was answered, right after it was asked. The three men almost jumped out of their skins at the sound of a loud horn. They turned to see a small, bright yellow car heading towards them. The car screeched as it stopped and the albino they were talking about stuck his head out the window.

"Alright benders!" The man cackled.

"Gil, what the hell is that?" America asked.

"What do you think it is idiot? It's a car." He rolled his eyes.

"It's bright yellow."

"So, it's like a giant Gilbird!" Gilbert grinned as the bird on his head chirped in delight.

"Or Spongebob" America mumbled as he went to sit in the car.

"SHOTGUN!" Spain yelled as he ran past France and America, hitting the one in the face but didn't notice which.

"No Toni, I have the map, that means I'll be sitting in the front." Francis told him, rather smugly.

"I can read it"

"No Toni! Remember last time we gave you the map? We were meant to be going to Paris but because of you, we went all the way to Germany!"

"I still don't know how you didn't notice."

"I sure went all the way with Germany~" The cars driver looked up to the sky, bit his lip and started nodding his head with approval. The other three just stared at him.

"...Anyhoo, you're not getting your hands on this map! Ok!"

"Fine!" For once, Spains smile fell. It was weird. All of them got in the car and were ready to start the trip. Well, all except for Prussia who was still fantasizing. But, after a slap to the face from America, the journey was about to begin.

"Sorry, how did you get that map again?" America questioned Francis.

"Oh, I just had to persuade Anglettere to give it to me."

"Looks like he went to see every inch of England again." The German whispered back to Spain.

"It's only possible for Francis to see the whole of England in a janitor's closet" Spain whispered back and the two started laughing.

"What're you guys laughing at?" The Frenchman asked the two men who were red in the face and howling with laughter.

"Just admiring your handy work! Fusososo~"

America was starting to regret yet glad to have asked to go on this trip.

"Let's get rocking then!" Prussia yelled, turning the key and starting the car. "Listen to that baby purr~"

"There's a baby in there!" Spain asked in astonishment.

Ok, Alfred was starting to lean more to the 'regret' side.


End file.
